I cannot believe that it's been so long since I've written. I guess I have been in a slump....kinda down in the dumps lately. This disease just drags you down like a weight attached to your limbs. Every day it gets heavier and heavier. Eventually you find that you cannot even lift anything anymore so why bother.
But fight on we must.
My dear friend, Kristi Dalby, has been in the hospital and is very ill. She also has Behcet's Disease. She is very immunosuppressed, is septic, has various infections, may have encephalitis, etc etc etc. She is so sick. She said numerous times she feels as though she is dying. She's not one to throw that phrase around lightly. She is such a strong and tough woman who has been fighting for a long time. I actually have this blog to thank for bringing us together. She accessed my blog and sent me an email and we became instant friends, contacting each other daily ever since. That was over a year ago. The thing about chronic illness is it is so difficult for those who are healthy to truly grasp what it is like to be sick every day. So to have friends who know EXACTLY what you are going through is such a blessing. I am lucky to be a part of a Women with Behcet's Group on Facebook. It's such an amazing group of women who all share similar experiences with this terrible debilitating disease. When one of us hurts, we all hurt. So for Kristi to be in the hospital so sick, hurting so much right now....I feel helpless. It's interesting. I guess I feel how my family and friends feel in my life when they see me in pain and are unable to do anything to help me get better. But all you can do is provide support, pray, and love that person. And do anything they need. I have been thinking about her constantly, wondering what she is feeling right this moment. Wondering if she is okay. I have faith that she will beat this because I feel that there is enough strength between those of us who know and care for her...that this strength will lift her up and these prayers will reach God in such astounding numbers that He will have NO CHOICE but to help heal her. Her family needs her, her kids need her. We all need her.
It scares all of us to have someone we know get this ill, because we know this could be any one of us at any time. It's truly terrifying. I can't spend time thinking about it though. I just have to remain positive and talk to loved ones and seek social support. Does this mean I remain happy all the time? No way. I find that I withdrawal....I get depressed and cry and wonder when will this suffering end? But I will not give up this fight. I can't. There are too many people out there who are fighting and need inspiration. Every time you read someone's story about overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles it inspires me. I hope to inspire others in a similar manner. It's kind of like a pay it forward inspiration style! :) Please keep Kristi in your prayers. She means so much to me.
Thanks for reading! Hope you are all having a good start to 2014!
PS. You can read Kristi's story on the post published on 2/28/13.
Wet love you Kristi. We will all best this monster. Together!!
ReplyDeleteMandi, I am just now seeing this. You didn't tell me you wrote it, or if you did, I didn't remember. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers and yes, I am thankful for your blog...had I not found it, and you, I don't think I would know anyone with BD!!! And because of you, I found the support group as well. That hospital visit forever changed me....19 days...wow, it was a long abd painful process but I know so many other BD patients have had much longer stays than me. I will never be the same Kristi after all this, I'm already not...some days I don't even know who I am anymore....it amazes me how fast you can get deathly ill with this disease...hours, in just hours you can go from ok to being very ill. Thank you for your sweet words and get working on that book!!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Kristi