Hospital Frequent Flier Miles

I was just in the Emergency Room about a month ago due to severe ulcers on my skin. I received intravenous steroid treatment and immediately started improving. I was sent home with oral steroids to take for two weeks. The Prednisone definitely helped me in terms of improving my symptoms, but unfortunately Prednisone also causes severe side effects for me. Such as anxiety and panic attacks, shaking, weight gain, increased sweating, insomnia, heart palpitations, etc. So once I had tapered off the steroids, of course I got a bad flare up right away. This time it was in my throat, which is typical. I have had those ulcers in my mouth and throat every day for five years. Although, this time the steroids actually kept them at bay for about week. It felt so nice to be able to eat or drink whatever I wanted sans pain. I could talk and everyone could understand me. I didn't drool whenever I slept. It was great feeling so wonderful even though it was for just a short period of time.

So the sores got so painful that I was encouraged by my doctor to go to the hospital again. It's pretty sad when you go to the hospital and are recognized by nurses and other staff/administration. I always say they should offer frequent flier miles for those of us who are in the hospital a lot. Even though I was in the ER for hours, I was in good spirits. It always throws people off because they think that I am not really that sick. I am, but I don't enjoy being sad or depressed all the time. I am so used to being sick and in pain that I just have learned to deal with it. Looks can be deceiving. Just because I don't want to be miserable while I am sick doesn't mean I am in any less pain or any less deserving of pain medication. My mom always says, "don't pretend that you are fine. Don't act happy or they will send you home thinking you are fine." I always explain that I am in pain, but I am inside alone so much that it's nice to get out and have social interaction, even if it is in the hospital. That's pretty sad.

I received IV treatment with steroids again and was sent home with oral Prednisone. I will have to take them for about two weeks. I know that as soon as I start tapering down past 10mg my symptoms will return. My time of feeling okay is pretty limited. But some time of feeling better is better than nothing! I will take what I get. But it is also difficult because I feel good, and then get sick again. It's so frustrating knowing there is a medication that makes me feel good and allwos me to function, but I am unable to take it long term. It's a tease.

I have been reading a lot and relaxing. It's been getting pretty cold out, which I enjoy because I am always warm. I used to despise the cold weather. I guess things change.